Parental and children’s understanding of “tidiness and cleanliness” are rarely in harmony. With all the toys on the floor, you may not have seen the floor of your child’s room for a long time. Yet your child is convinced that they have just tidied up thoroughly! Why is it so difficult for children to keep things tidy?
With these tricks, your children will also learn to keep things tidy
Even though chaos encourages creativity and learning through play, a child’s room should be tidied up occasionally. After all, a certain amount of order also gives structure to life. However, when tidying up and keeping things tidy with children, mistakes unfortunately creep in time and again, making the process a daily ordeal for both child and parent.
Here are 11 typical things you should therefore avoid, as well as practical tips on how to make keeping things tidy easier in the long term:
Tidy up bag
Tidy-up bags are a great thing – at least in theory: you spread out a blanket for the child to play on, then pull a string and everything is tidy. In reality, however, many parents are annoyed because such tidy-up bags restrict the play radius enormously, so that you end up having to dig everything out from behind shelves and from sofa crevices.
Conclusion: Instead of spending money on superfluous things, it is better to teach children as early as possible how to tidy up their toys afterwards.
Too many toys
You have to decide when there is too much stuff in the children’s room. This depends, among other things, on the size of the children and the room. However, the basic rule is: too many play stimuli overwhelm children. They won’t be able to concentrate on one thing and will pull one toy after another off the shelf. What’s more, when tidying up, they lose track of where things need to go. This can frustrate children. A few, easily accessible boxes that are labeled with pictures help to make it easier for children to keep things tidy.
Tidying up “play”
Tidying up can also be fun: The child becomes a digger driver who shovels away the Lego bricks, or you roll the dice to see how many objects each person has to clear away in turn. The only important thing is that the purpose – that it’s about tidying up – remains recognizable. Otherwise the child will not learn that sometimes it has to be done without an accompanying entertainment program.
“One out, one in” rule
Keeping things tidy could be so easy for children if every time a toy was taken out, another one disappeared back onto the shelf. Unfortunately, children’s brains work chaotically: what was just needed could become part of the game again later. So if you want to avoid frustration, you should only apply the “one out, one in” rule cautiously, for example with board games where there are several small pieces that belong together. Even small children will understand this.
Keep things tidy: Rummage boxes for children’s toys
Some parents want to make it easy for their children to tidy up and therefore rely on large toy boxes into which everything is simply thrown. However, children should learn that it is good for everything to have its own place, as this makes it easier to find it again. Rummage boxes also create a mess because the child literally has to rummage through everything until they find what they want.
“Tidy up your room!”
If you ask your child to do this in passing, don’t be surprised if the room looks just as untidy after fifteen minutes as it did before. “Being heard” and “getting through to the child” are two different things. Make sure you have your child’s full attention before you make any announcements. These announcements should also be as specific as possible – even for schoolchildren, the request “tidy your room” is still far too general.
Subsequent tips
When the children have tidied up, the praise should also be specific: “Great, the cuddly toys are all back in their place now! Great that you thought of the CDs too.” The more details you acknowledge, the prouder your child will be of their achievement. On the other hand, subsequent comments such as: “But that could have been done quicker” are counterproductive.
Rewards for keeping order: The wrong way for children?
While praise and recognition are very important to motivate little ones, rewards can have the opposite effect. Children do not learn that it is part of their household chores to look after their own things. Rather, it feels that it has made a sacrifice for which it is now entitled to something in return. This is the wrong way to teach independence.
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Wrong time
Children learn in contexts. So if it’s always their turn to tidy their room at the same time – before dinner, for example – it’s all the easier for them. Also, always allow enough time: If it takes a little longer for the three-legged friend to get out of the kink, you can then remain consistent without having to look nervously at the clock. After all, once you’ve asked them to tidy up, you shouldn’t give in and do it all yourself because you’re short of time!
Seeing the household as a burden
Keeping a household with children in good shape is a challenge. But if you only see it as a burden and make a face at the same time, you shouldn’t be surprised if your children only associate it with negative things. So keep your demands to a level where you still feel comfortable.
Tip: Clean with music if you like that, or use practical tricks to help you keep your everyday life tidy.
Lose heart
Once the children have reached puberty, parenting measures often don’t get you very far. But don’t take the mess in the room to heart. At this age, a messy room is often a sign of separation from the parents. At some point, it will become clear that all the years you spent teaching them to be tidy have not gone by without a trace.
Conclusion
What looks like a battlefield to parents is a perfectly organized creativity center for children. The tips presented here show wonderfully that the theory of a tidy children’s room and the practice are often worlds apart. While parents dream of Instagram-ready children’s rooms, real life unfolds between rummage boxes and futile cries of “Tidy up at last!”.
Tidiness isn’t everything in life. However, if you teach your children early enough to help out around the house and at least treat their own things with care, it will be much easier later on. In the end, the comforting realization remains: even if the children’s room today looks like an explosion in a toy store – at some point, even the smallest chaos artists will grow up. And then they will probably look at their own children in despair and say: “How many times have I told you to tidy up?” The cycle of life in its most beautiful form!
Source: sueddeutsche, meinespielzeugkiste
Thumbnail images: ©pinterest.com/P’kolino © pinterest/OpenSky
